Every second you are stuck in an abusive relationship may feel like an eternity. That feeling of helplessness can cause one to make rash decisions, but abuse victims should plan their escape whenever possible.
Why do I need to plan?
Bluntly, it is because your abuser will find ways to abuse you. And, if you have kids, you will have contact with them for the near future. You need to make sure that you are prepared to leave when you leave.
One consequence of not planning your escape is giving your abuser the power to put you in a monetary stranglehold through economic abuse. First, they will cut you off financially. Then, they will cut your access to credit by taking out as many loans as they can, and they may continue to do hard credit applications to ensure that your credit score drops. They may even strategically stop payment on Williamsville, New York, bills and utilities so that you cannot get utilities turned on in your name.
Messing with your social network and family
They will also engage in emotional abuse by trying to isolate you from your friends and family. If you suffered in silence, your friends and family will seek understanding of what happened to their “favorite” couple. This knowledge gap allows your soon-to-be ex-spouse to fill that void with rumors and lies to cause a rift between you and your friends and family. Your abuser will certainly spread rumors about you, and they may engage in other harassing efforts that require additional litigation to stop.
Parental alienation and manipulation
Your ex may try to manipulate your children as well. It could be through blaming you for things, like signing them up for ballet, and then, not paying for it. They could cause further economic abuse by forcing you to buy your children’s toys, clothes, school items, etc. multiple times. Of course, they will claim that the child lost the items.
In worse cases, they may employ parental alienation tactics. This psychological abuse destroys the healthy parent-child bond, turns children against parents and is recognized by most courts as child abuse. A skilled New York mental health professional and lawyer are needed for these cases.
If there is one takeaway that our readers should know it is that planning is key to making a clean break. Your friends, family, loved ones and a lawyer can help with this plan. But, if you do not plan, you may find that the abuse continues, just in new ways.